Children with special needs often experience the world differently than typical children. They may have sensory processing differences, challenges with emotional regulation, or difficulties with communication and social skills. These differences can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and feelings of being overwhelmed in day-to-day life. When children with special needs feel threatened or unsafe, they are likely to resort to primal survival responses — fight, flight, or freeze. Understanding these instinctive reactions can help parents and teachers better support children with special needs.
The fight response occurs when a child feels the need to defend themselves, either verbally or physically. A fight response may look like a child having a meltdown, tantrum, or acting out aggressively. For instance, a child with autism may cover their ears, scream, or act out toward those around them if they become overstimulated by loud noises and other sensory input in a classroom. Their fight response has been activated as a way to communicate, “this is too much!” and protect themselves from further distress.
The flight response involves escaping or avoiding the perceived threat. A child utilizing the flight response may run away, hide, or shut down when faced with a stressful situation. For instance, a child with anxiety may repeatedly leave the classroom without permission in order to escape unwanted social interactions. Their flight response helps them feel safer in the short term, even though repeatedly fleeing may not be appropriate.
The freeze response involves involuntary paralysis or immobilization in the face of danger. Children demonstrating a freeze response seem “zoned out” or disconnected from what is happening around them. Internally, the freeze response allows the nervous system a chance to reset before deciding whether to fight or flee. For children with developmental disabilities like autism, the freeze response can be prolonged, leading to non-responsiveness to external stimuli for minutes or even hours. This can be deeply alarming for parents and teachers when a child with special needs suddenly goes nonverbal and seems catatonic.
As distressing as fight, flight, and freeze reactions may be, it’s important for caregivers to remain calm. These survival responses are instinctive — a child isn’t choosing to misbehave. The key is helping children with special needs feel safe, understood, and in control. Here are some tips:
- Avoid power struggles. Limit demands or forced interactions that may inadvertently trigger a fight-or-flight or freeze response.
- Create a low-stimulation space. Have a designated quiet area or sensory room available for when children need to retreat and regroup.
- Teach calming skills. Breathing exercises, fidget toys, and weighted blankets can help stabilize strong emotions and de-escalate reactions.
- Notice triggers. Track when and why survival responses occur, so you can anticipate situations that may cause distress.
- Allow choices and control. Children with special needs thrive when they have agency over their schedule and sensory environment.
- Reward cooperation. Use rewards like stickers or extra computer time to reinforce self-regulation skills.
- Model emotional language. Verbalize your own feelings: “I’m feeling frustrated right now. I’m going to take some deep breaths to calm down.”
- Praise efforts. Highlight when children ask for help, use coping strategies, or express feelings appropriately.
With preparation, patience, and compassion, fight-flight-freeze responses can be greatly reduced, allowing children with special needs to flourish. The goal is not to eliminate all behavioral challenges but to help children feel understood, supported, and able to successfully manage life’s stresses and demands. When children have the skills to self-regulate and communicate their needs, their defensive reactions are less likely to be triggered. Special needs require special care and consideration from parents, teachers, and other caregivers. But by providing the right environment and emotional support, we can help children with special needs navigate the world in a positive way.
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